“So today was pretty much the worst day of your life, huh Memphis?”
That’s what Husband said to one of the punks the other night. Since we’re pointing fingers and calling out the guilty, I’ll go ahead and let you know that it was this Punk.
Don’t let the sweet puppy dog face fool you, he’s a punk.
The best punk. My punk. But a punk none-the-less.
I’d baked a cake from scratch for a dinner party I was attending.
Did you catch all that? I’d baked a cake from scratch for a dinner party….I walked out of the room for a few seconds and returned to find the cake half gone.
Half. Gone. The cake I baked. From scratch.
I started going ballistic, and then started panicking…and from there everything runs together in a horrible mess of heaving sobs and tears.
I spun to see the punk standing sheepishly in the corner. And his sister, the other punk, hiding in the kennel.
I think she could smell the wrath wafting off of me.
It wasn’t hard to identify which punk had eaten the cake – the culprit still had sprinkles in his teeth. And no, I am neither joking nor exaggerating.
In hindsight, I wish I had gotten a picture of the sprinkle stuffed teeth. Lessons for next time.
My mom helped me get a hold of our dear friend the vet, who informed me I needed to make him throw up.
How? 1 ounce of hydrogen peroxide. (Take note, dog owners.) Of course, we didn’t have hydrogen peroxide because that would have been convenient, so I had to go to Giant. So I drove to Giant sobbing, wandered through Giant sobbing, purchased the hydrogen peroxide while I was sobbing and people were staring.
It was a blast.
Got home. And, yeah…got my cake back, so to speak.
Hence, when husband got home he said, “So today was pretty much the worst day of your life, huh Memphis?”
But in all honesty, Memphis seemed no worse for the wear. He seemed completely unfazed. As if eating cakes and giving them back and having sprinkled-stuffed teeth was a regular occurrence.
The story became the talk of the dinner party, and apparently talk of my entire social circle because it seems as though everyone has commented to me about the Punk eating the cake.
I’ve been replaying it all over and over in my head, because every time someone mentions it I feel like a Dog-mom failure all over again. But in all my over-analyzing, the part that stands out to me is this:
The vet said that based on the ingredients of the cake, and how much he ate relative to his body size, he would probably be fine. But, just to be sure, I should force him to get sick so that there was no trace of the chocolate left in his system. Because if it reached some of his organs, he might not take it.
Purge it all, just in case.
Which brings me to one of the most skipped over verses in the Bible. Because it makes us uncomfortable.
“If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. And if your foot causes you to stumble,cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. It is better for yoto enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, where“‘the worms that eat them do not die, and the fire is not quenched.’ Everyone will be salted with fire. “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt among yourselves, and be at peace with each other.” Mark 9:45-50
I’d argue that this is the most in-your-face passage in the Bible. Biblical Scholars say that this passage contains the most difficult, least understood verses in the New Testament. Which makes me feel better because I have no idea how to explain these verses, except that if I were writing a Bible commentary I’d probably sum it up this way:
GET IT TOGETHER SON.
I think the bottom line is this: There is no part of your flesh worth keeping if it means losing some part of your soul to sin.
There is nothing on the outside worth keeping if your insides are rotting away in sin.
I’m learning this lesson more slowly than the Lord would like. I am learning the cost of losing the physical in order to preserve my soul.
I’m learning that it’s hard. I’m learning that it’s not fun. I’m learning that it hurts. But I’m also learning one important lesson:
I’m learning that it’s worth it.
This act of cutting out or off whatever physically is hindering you is worth it.
There is nothing on the outside worth keeping if your insides are rotting away in sin