2.) I got to go to NC and see where C Bear lives. And where real bears life. And where the Vanderbilts lived.

3.) The song “Down” by Mat Kearney. The best way to listen to this song is in the car, and turned up louder than your ear drums would normally put up with, and with the sun shining and when you are free-spirited enough to sing along with him at the Top of your lungs, HALLELUJAH.

4.) A sweet lady told me she likes listening to me because I “have a soothing voice”. If you think that is a weird statement and you are imagining me walking around talking to myself and someone random appreciating it, allow me to clarify: I got to teach the word of God and that was one of the pieces of feedback I got back. There are a lot of things I like hearing about the way the Lord  has used me, but hearing that He spoke through me to sooth someone’s heart is probably my favorite.

5.) Boyfriend aka Husband and I get to become godparents this weekend. If you could see my face, you would see I am beaming with pride and excitement.

5 point 2) This also means I get to see my Godchildren, my aunt and uncle, and my Gram this weekend. All people whom I love dearly.

6.) I love Leigh Standley’s work (better known as Curly Girl Designs). She did a sneak peek of some of her new stuff, and this happens to be my favorite. It so perfectly captures the kind of friend we all need every now and again.

Curly Girl

7.) C Bear agreed that if I ever get to speak soothingly for a living, she will be my hype girl. If you are confused as to what a hype girl is, check out Sophia Grace and Rosie on youtube. Rosie is the hype girl. C Bear, take notes.

8.) I got to go to NYC with Boyfriend aka Husband. I don’t even know what to say about the wonderfulness. But this picture, and in particular the hat, seems to capture it well.

9.) Live Forever by Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors. This song has been my anthem recently. It has so perfectly captured so many things. The NBA picked it up for a commercial, which is excellent for Drew and Ellie. But it is just excellent in general.

10.) “And to the one who does not work, but believes in Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness.” Romans 4:5

Amen.

I may or may not still do that on occasion.

I tell myself that the only reason I cheat books when reading them is because there is a God-like characteristic in me that desires to see redemption written into everything.

Ha.

ANYWAY. Some of my favorite stories don’t necessarily have happy endings, but they have redemptive endings. And I LOVE redemptive endings.

I have been re-learning, that I know hardly anything about barely nothing. Which is humbling. (And a lesson I wish I learned-for-keeps the first 600 times the Lord tried to teach it too me.)

It may not be Godly of me to skip to the end of every book I read, but it is God-like for redemption to be written into every story.

There are stories in my life right now, that seem to have ended without any redeeming quality. There are novels occurring in the story of my life that seem as though they are going to end in what a friend would call “death, doom and destruction.” The are chapters of my story that ended on a sad note and I can not seem to trace the redemptive hand.

There have been times when, in my pride and arrogance, I have wanted to explain to God that I would have written the story differently if I were in His shoes. I would have had a happier ending, I would have made the redemption more obvious – there would have been a skywriter or at least a hand writing on the wall.

Deep breath – in the midst of my arrogance, here is what I know to be true: God writes better stories than I do. Ke knows better endings. He writes in more redemption that I could ever dream possible. He sees story lines my earthly eyes miss. His redemption extends beyond my time lines – they extend across generations and over hundreds of years.

His timing is not my timing, His story line is not my story line, BUT His redemption far exceeds my wildest imagination.

If you’re struggling to trace the redemptive hand, if you’re at the end of a chapter and you’re wondering where the silver lining is – remember, God writes redemption into every story.

And He writes the best stories.

Love,

katie

I’ve wanted to mimic her multiple times this week. To just yell at whoever will listen “Of course I am scared. If you’re not scared, you’re not paying attention!”

Not paying attention to the pain. Not paying attention to the death. Not paying attention to the loss and devastation. Not sitting in wide eyed wonder, perplexing over how so much could have changed in a mere 8 days. Not fearful of the ramifications. Not scared about how life will go on.

Beth Moore has this brilliant YouTube video where she talks about something her daughter said in a Doctors office waiting room one day. You can watch it here ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NK9kZKK8LNs ) or you can just skip to my point.

One of the Moore girls said, “He knows it’s scary to be us.”

If that doesn’t just rock you to sleep I don’t know what will.

Here is what I do know: In the midst of a world where we all have weeks where we want to yell “OF COURSE I’M SCARED!”. In a world where where it is scary to be us and God knows it is scary to be us, He offers these words…

“The Lord is in your midst, a Mighty One who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exalt over you with loud singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not grow faint of weary; His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases His strength. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall month up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40″28-31

“Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours but God’s.” 2 Chronicles 20:15

Sometimes in my mind I rewrite that Chronicles verse.

“Do not be afraid or discouraged because of…how scary it is to be us (fill-in-the-blank with whatever leaves you afraid and discouraged). For the battle is not yours but the Lords.”

He knows it’s scary to be you.

Love,

katie

Anyway, that has nothing to do with anything. But in light of all the time I waste on Pinterest, I thought I’d share some snapshots of life at the Coverts (courtesy of Instagram).

Merry Christmas!

We invited OV over for the Holiday season.

Oh wait. That is the concert spirit, not the Christmas spirit. Whoops!

One of my all time favorite movies.

This is the FIRST Christmas card we’ve gotten! And its from C BEAR! It’s displayed proudly on the fridge in all its tacky sweater glory! Moral of the story – please send us Christmas cards!

Merry Christmas : o)

katie

Anyway, they have a version of the old hymn “Be Thou My Vision” that is beautiful. In general, I like hymns, but Be Thou My Vision was never one of my favorites. I don’t think I understood it. It was never one of those songs that my heart sang.

But my soul got it this week.

I had one of those days, that stretched into one of those nights, that stretched into one of those mornings, where you wonder what is worth getting out of bed for. I am not usually one to throw pity parties, but an interesting turn of events early in the week caused me to temporarily lose all sense of purpose.

Without going into detail, it was one of those scenarios where I could not see past my pain. I saw nothing but hurt, hurt stretching out as far as my eye could see. As far as my heart could hope, that was nothing but hurt and devastation.

If left to my own devices, I would have stayed in bed cycling through the pain over and over and over again.

But sometime before my heart got as as far as it could hurt, my soul started humming “Be Thou My Vision” and for the first time, my heart understood the gravity of those timeless words.

The song was written by a monk in the 8th Century in honor of St. Patrick who famously defied the order of the King and lit candles on Easter. The song is often credited to Mary E. Byrne who translated the song to English. And throughout all these centuries and I cannot guarantee what the original intention of the words was, but the other day the songs message was crystal clear.

My vision would get me no where – my devastated, frustrated, hurt heart was at a dead end. And it was blinding me to all hope.

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.” Psalm 29:18

But where the Lord cast the vision, my outlook over the horizon completely changed.

It was no longer a song with nice words, phrased in old English. It was a desperate plea that I not be stuck with my limited vision, but that I see with His perspective.

A plea that the Lord who reigns in my heart, would also reign in my sight.

It was enough to get me out of bed. Enough to put a small but steady smile on my face.

The Lord’s vision reminded me of the purpose He has set in my heart.

His vision reminded me that no matter how bleak the day might be, His hope always reigns.

Be thou my vision O Lord of my heart,

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art. 

Thou my best thought, by day or by night, 

Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light. 

[Mary E. Byrne]

be Thou my vision,

Katie

The kind of pain that leaves others wondering how you could ever recover.

In the midst of watching others suffer through life-altering, excruciating pain, I have often wondered what to say.

Job is the go-to book when people are hurting. Because Job is a relatable character when you’re enduring the weight of the world.

I heard someone say recently, that they heard someone else say, that sometimes we have to choose to believe in the goodness of God, even when He is not choosing to directly pour His goodness out on us.

Like choosing to believe the sun still rises somewhere, even if you live in Alaska.

Like choosing to believe that a million dollars does exist, even if you know you will never see that money.

And as much as this is not what we want to hear when we are bearing unbearable burdens, I think sometimes that is the point.

I think somehow the Lord has to teach us to believe the unbelievable qualities about Himself. And sometimes, He does that in our pain.

There are things about the Lord I can’t wrap my mind around. I can’t understand Noah and the ark, and erasing everyone – eliminating all second chances. I can’t quite come to grips with God asking Abraham to sacrifice Issac. I can’t reason how God allows some of the things He allows – Job’s loss and suffering being one of those things. I don’t know how I can believe He is good in my gut, but when I watch some people suffer, I struggle to explain how I believe in His goodness – I don’t know how I can believe something so deeply, to the core of me, but still struggle to explain it.

And for the life of me, I can’t understand Him sending His Son to die. But I am so grateful He did.

All that being said, I do know this: it is easier for me to believe the unbelievable things about God, because I have had to walk through seasons where I chose to believe God was good, even though it did not seem to me that I was a recipient of any of His goodness at that particular point.

I have not had to come to grips with a God who wouldn’t save my mom from cancer – but I have friends who have. And they know the Lord in a way that I haven’t met Him.

I have not had to reconcile a God who loves me, with the same God who would let my child die – but I have friends who have. And they know the richness of His grace in the midst of tragedy in a way I do not.

I know people who have had to know the Lord and believe the Lord through loss and tragedy and through seasons that seemed to never end – and although I won’t say they are better for it, I will say, they know the Lord better for it.

And isn’t that what it is all about?

When He meets us where we’re at, when we have to know Him in unimaginable ways, when we have to believe Him through the unbelievable – that is when we learn to hold onto His goodness with a death grip, even if we don’t feel like we are receiving it.

For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations. Psalm 100:5

He is Good.

katie

The tree was all lit up and the dogs were in the Christmas spirit (just trust me on this one).

Sometimes I think we get a little sliver of heaven when we least deserve it. At least I do.

I was sitting on the floor putting socks on, hair dripping wet, singing loudly with Rihanna and squirming around as if I were dancing. “We Found Love” was blaring loud enough that I am surprised we didn’t get complaints from the neighbors. Boyfriend was peering at me through the mirror as he shaved, with a look on his face that was both pleased and confused. (Apparently, prior to marrying me, he didn’t wake himself up by turning the music up and signing and dancing. I have no idea why not, it is a great way to get your engine going in the morning.)

Boyfriend was talking about getting us more coffee, and we were discussing our plans for the day, and I became convinced that I am the most blessed little lady in the world.

As I finished putting my socks on, I smiled to myself. There are so few moments in life where everything feels perfect. Simple and still and happy. A moment that feels untouchable, as if no bad thing could touch it.

One of those moments that make you want to hold your breath, so the perfect moment won’t pass before you have time to breathe it in.

I’m not quite sure how the Bible describes or explains those moments, I haven’t found a verse that quite captures the emotion or the logistics or it. But I think that might be the point. There are no words to describe heaven, that is the glorious mystery of it all. We know there will be no more tears, that pain will cease, that we will be found in the presence of the Lord.

But the emotion of it, how could words capture it? I think sometimes we get tiny slivers of the that emotion – that perfect, hopeful, restful, safe space that we experience only for moments at a time.

I think sometimes we just get little reminders that it’s not over yet. That it doesn’t end here. That the pain and hardship and struggle we experience in life won’t be where life ends. I think sometimes God knows we need a little reminder about what is in store for those who love Him.

(Please note, that I am not saying “We Found Love” will be playing in heaven. I am merely commenting on emotions.)

I find that those moments hit when I least expect it, but rather when I most need it.

“Taste and see that the Lord is good.” Psalm 34:8

Love,

katie

It was a bold claim. One that at first offended me. Then made me indignant. And then made me think.

I know a few churches recently that have spent millions of dollars on facilities in hopes of drawing people in through the latest technologies, a coffee shop, or other state of the art equipment, all of which seems to have little to do with the gospel, and a lot to do with making people comfortable.

I do not have a problem with making people comfortable, and I love coffee shops – please do not get me wrong. But in the midst of my thinking, I have started to wonder if in the midst of our song and dance, while everyone is sipping on lattes, if our church additions aren’t sometimes fear-based.

At the risk of making everyone wish I had never started blogging again, I am going to say that there is a part of me that agrees with that silly documentary I was sent, because I think sometimes we dress up the gospel so people will be attracted too it. I think sometimes we are fearful the gospel itself won’t be enough, unless it is attached to some ice cream social, or the latest cappuccino.

I understand, events can draw people in that would otherwise never “darken a church door”, but I can’t help but wonder if sometimes we use that as an excuse for activities instead of as the punch line. Do we set up the dog and pony shows because we’re afraid if someone is just presented the gospel, it won’t be enough?

Is there a part of us that maybe believes the gospel can’t speak for itself? 

Maybe people will be more attracted to church if it comes with a barista brewed cup of coffee.

Maybe we can draw more kids in if we build this climbing wall.

I am not here to pass judgement on anyone, or to say that anyone has done anything wrong. But merely to stop myself before I get swept away into letting the consumerism mentality shift the way I view church. (I. ME. I am talking about myself here.)

I don’t want to catch myself resting my ministry on how well I can dress up the gospel.

I don’t want to catch myself buying into a lie that the Gospel can’t sell itself.

I don’t want to become consumed with the best way to package the story of our Savior.

Rather, I want to fervently pray that my ministry does nothing more than highlight the glory that already exists within the story of Jesus Christ.

Any dog and pony show put on, I pray is a sideshow to the greatest story ever told.

Bottom line: I pray that my ministry says more about Him, then it does about me.

Amen,

katie

Desperate.

Desperation.

I feel like that’s been an overarching theme in my life recently. Living in a constant state of desperation. And as miserable as that may sound, it’s been the best place for me.

Desperate for Him to take control.

Desperate for Him to speak peace into my soul.

Desperate for Him to show up.

Desperate for Him to calm my anxious heart.

Desperate for Him to heal.

Desperate for Him to mend.

In the midst of desperation, I have learned that He is so much more when I come to Him desperate.

Or rather, I let Him be so much more to me. When there is too much emptiness to fill, when there is too much brokenness for me too mend, when my only option is to come to Him desperate…I find more satisfaction in the midst of the desperation.

I’m desperately grasping at His grace.

I’m desperately grasping at His healing mercies.

I’m desperately clinging to His word and truth.

I’m desperately clinging to any trace of Him I can find.

And then the sweet, ancient, waiting room attendant walks in and tells me not to worry because the fact that its taking longer than planned may just mean that more is wrong than they originally thought. And I smile hopefully because desperate belief that God is good is all I have to cling too.

My point is, in the midst of desperation, God and His character, and His goodness have come more real, and more bold and more rich than I ever could have asked or imagined.

I find myself knowing Him better in the midst of desperation than I would have known Him otherwise.

And for that, I am so grateful.

As a deer pants for flowing streams,
   so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
   for the living God.

Psalm 42:1-2

Desperately,

Katie

I feel like I have done nothing but talk/write/communicate for the last few weeks. Talk to someone, talk to lots of someones, write emails, go to meetings, talk to wedding planners, talk to florists, talk to students, talk to Little Women, talk to caterers…You name it, we’ve probably talked.

Which means I have little left to say.

I don’t really consider myself a talker by nature. Talker by profession? Possibly.

I’ve talked about love, I’ve talked about joy, I’ve talked about weddings, I’ve talked about comparison, I’ve talked about life, I’ve talked about flowers, favors, dresses, ties, food, beverages…

Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk.

Maybe it is just this season of life, but with so much having been said, I find myself with little to say.

I am treasuring moments like the one right now where you can feel the silence (thank you, Goo Goo Dolls). The dogs are sleeping, the apartment is silent, the rain has even stopped so you can’t hear that little pitter-pat on the windowsill. The silent moments are sometimes the only moments when I feel like there is room enough to breath.

I am doing a Bible study that has me meandering through the book of Genesis and today I got caught on the verse where God “breathed the breath of life into the man.” (Genesis 2:7)

I might be the only one who sometimes feels like conversation takes it all out of me, but in the silence I regain my footing and can breathe again in the breath of life.

Sometimes I just need to start from scratch, and take a moment to have fresh life breathed into me from my Creator all over again.

So that is what I have to say today. Take time to breathe in the breath of life.

Just breathe.

Love,

katie